The undoing

[laltieri0]

I had previously posted this under "novice". However, I'd like to seriously work on improving this piece and learning more.



A thread so soft, I'd remove one of these descriptors.  Personally, I'd choose to cut "soft."
smooth, 
gentle,
coy;
unraveled.


Bit by bit,
fiber upon fiber  the repetition in these two lines doesn't seem to add to the poem
of velvety decadence. I don't love "velvety decadence"
A gush took it over
of the wind; disheveled.


With it modesty,
animosity, affections,
passionately fluttered. "passionately" bogs it down a little


On the ground then "then "
I saw what was left,
unraveled
uninhibited;
undone.

I like what you're trying to say with the use of "coy," "modesty," etc. but they aren't words used to describe a thread.  It's slightly unclear whether you're watching the thread's human characteristics fall (nonsensical), or if you're watching your own (speaker's) attributes unravel alongside the thread (what I think you might be getting at). 

That being said, it's interesting and fresh! I like it.  The last three lines serve as a strong ending.