The undoing

[Achebe]

The adjectives add nothing to the poem in S1 and Everywhere else.
The period in S1 should come after S2, with acma after "bit by bit"
A gush of wind is strange. Liquids gush. Gust is what you mean.
Not clear how threads can be modest.

Thank you so much for taking the time out and critiquing this!

This is definitely a work in progress. What If I develop the metaphor of the thread so as to make it a clear metaphor for the unraveling of a person. The Idea of deconstructing themselves. I was thinking of doing that in the context of a woman, if I'm able to revise this to include something like that, then perhaps I can justify the adjectives being used. I do see that it makes no sense per se. When you read it because it comes across as excessively abstract to the point of being empty.

I'm sorry but can you tell me what does "acma" mean? 
Yes! thank you, now that I see it gush does make no sense, gust is definitely better.  

Do you suggest revising this or just starting afresh?
I think I'll try to revise it, but if it doesn't feel like it's coming together I might re-write the whole thing, so it makes more sense.

Once again, thank you!

Hi Shrew. There are a few typos in my post courtesy fat fingers and my iPhone. Acma is "a comma".
I think you have one half of the metaphor alright. Replacing the adjectives with nouns is not such a big deal.
But the other half - what's the thread a metaphor of? - needs to be hinted at in another strophe.
 If it's just plain observation, then that's fine too, but then describe the tangible attributes of the thread more clearly.
If I were you I'd start afresh.