04-17-2016, 05:10 PM
Though now I am better seeing your point -- I think the first two sections are pretty clear (but the second section, perhaps a little too 'universal' to be of as much value -- then again, it feels right, considering the context, and this piece's older sister), but then everything begins to devolve by the third part (especially with the Plath reference -- I mean, sure, I referred to Dylan Thomas, too, but that wasn't as blatant), finally collapsing unto its own weight by the fourth. I'm contemplating leaving the first two sections unchanged, then splitting bits of ideas from the latter two into another poem, developing both fragments -- but not right now, I guess, with NaPM and the semester ending and me not being as well read as I planned to and junk. But again, thanks for the feedback!