04-15-2016, 03:41 AM
(03-25-2016, 12:26 PM)Leanne Wrote: "I just want my poems viewed." ----> do you really want your poems viewed or do you want them read?
MOD: Read your welcome letter
"Worship all my poetry." -----> wouldn't "worship my poetry" include it "all"
MOD: Read your welcome letter
"I'll go elsewhere, you've lost me."
MOD: Thank fuck. Now, cake and tea? ----> doesn't thank need and "s" & would you like some cake and tea?
This poem reminds me of poems I write when I'm in an especially good mood. Or at least feeling playful. However, even the most fun reads and writes require just a bit of elbow grease or a little polish. Hope you find my suggestions helpful.
Luna
In your own, each bone comes alive
the skeleton jangles in its perfunctory sleeve....
(Chris Martin)
the skeleton jangles in its perfunctory sleeve....
(Chris Martin)