One Second Later

[billy]

One Second Later


Sometimes rain falls. no need for sometimes here
Sometimes it sounds like laughter.
Sometimes it's driven against steel by sudden winds and shatters, i think you need some punctuation in order to show it shatters and that shatters is not a thing

yet,

all space and things become still in a moment. a suggestion would be to use [inert] or anther word choice instead of still, which feels pretty bland; for me the poem went well to the end of this line then loses the split second
A narrowing of a man's eye;
a small smirk;
which begins something horrible, inevitable,
and utterly hilarious.