Letting You Go

[homer1950]

Letting You Go
I keep walking until I feel numb 
not aware of the world around me, or even myself
I can’t feel anything or maybe I just don’t want to, 
because if I do it would make all of this real
It would make you real
it would make us real
and it would make you leaving real

And maybe I’m just scared
Scared that if I open myself up, tear myself open,
this emptiness inside me would become what completely defines me
Threatening me
Breaking me
Daring me to collapse 

And I don’t know if I can fill the void where everything that was once there
Surrounded you
Was made of you
And only you

So I’ll be numb
I’ll be numb to this pain
Numb to the memories, 
and numb to the sound of your name
I’ll be numb to the point where I can’t even feel my own tears

In your first three lines there is a feeling of redundancy. L1- Your numb L2- You are un-aware L3- You can not feel anything.

In L1 as the reader, I would like to know what feeling numb is like for you? Expand and express

L3- The term maybe takes away from the strong emotions you seem to want to convey in the lines that follow. What if you just don't want to? Also the word maybe is a weak contemplation. What other words could you have used to question your emotions? 

L8- The same as previously stated - the word maybe weakens the line's emotional content. Again; What if you just knew you were scared? 

In the rest of your poem it appears that you are using such words as: me, you and numb for Poetic Intensity? The lines do not feel intense they feel more repetitive or gimmicky. I think the use of some well-placed metaphors and semiles would help bring out more clarity and intensity in your poem.