04-11-2016, 05:48 AM
hello,
i read this a few times, and started a critique a few times. . . but, i thought i would wait until your reply to the rest. i was trying to find something more in this than the surface objectification. the last stanza gave some hope, possibly a satirical political poem; but, it would seem that it is just as it reads. which is pretty sexist, whether you intended it to be or not [to be, that is the question]. the phrase 'little brown women' isn't racist, it is patronising, sexist and racist in a way the phrase 'tall white men' isn't. and the 'tall white men' poem you have offered as a comparison, is a little bit racist, as welll. now, i know you are a smart fellow, so i feel odd having to explain that. but, if you describe a people's ethnicity, make it a point, and then go and make general statements about those people, either the word 'white' is redundant, in which case why? or, it is a racially motivated statement. and with regards to sexism, i don't think it is about making everything gender neutral, but rather, maybe try not to patronise people. little brown women giggling in the sun like beautiful idiots, barefoot and pregnant; little brown objects. and furthermore, you said it was a rebuttal to the term 'little brown fuck machine', which i think, though entirely vulgar and deeply sexist, is far more interesting, far more human, far more honest. and by honest, i mean, you could basically swap 'little brown women' with 'little brown fuck machine' and literally lose none of the latent sexism. and, in fact, would serve as a far better satire on the term 'little brown fuck machine'.
i don't know, i just find this poem all kinds of troubling.
having said all that, it is very well written. and to be honest, that sincerity makes it even more troubling.
i read this a few times, and started a critique a few times. . . but, i thought i would wait until your reply to the rest. i was trying to find something more in this than the surface objectification. the last stanza gave some hope, possibly a satirical political poem; but, it would seem that it is just as it reads. which is pretty sexist, whether you intended it to be or not [to be, that is the question]. the phrase 'little brown women' isn't racist, it is patronising, sexist and racist in a way the phrase 'tall white men' isn't. and the 'tall white men' poem you have offered as a comparison, is a little bit racist, as welll. now, i know you are a smart fellow, so i feel odd having to explain that. but, if you describe a people's ethnicity, make it a point, and then go and make general statements about those people, either the word 'white' is redundant, in which case why? or, it is a racially motivated statement. and with regards to sexism, i don't think it is about making everything gender neutral, but rather, maybe try not to patronise people. little brown women giggling in the sun like beautiful idiots, barefoot and pregnant; little brown objects. and furthermore, you said it was a rebuttal to the term 'little brown fuck machine', which i think, though entirely vulgar and deeply sexist, is far more interesting, far more human, far more honest. and by honest, i mean, you could basically swap 'little brown women' with 'little brown fuck machine' and literally lose none of the latent sexism. and, in fact, would serve as a far better satire on the term 'little brown fuck machine'.
i don't know, i just find this poem all kinds of troubling.
having said all that, it is very well written. and to be honest, that sincerity makes it even more troubling.
(04-10-2016, 10:59 AM)Erthona Wrote: Little Brown Women
Little brown women, little brown women,
I love little brown women;
the way they cover their mouth
when they laugh in the morning
as though laughing were a sin.
Everyone should sin so.
I love little brown women
in the market at noon
hips swaying to the rhythm
of the breeze in their hair
courting the lusty sun.
Everyone should sway so.
I love little brown women,
sitting in the shade, in the evening,
with their small hungry babes
who fiercely suck and paw their breast.
Everyone should sit so.
I love little brown women,
at night, when the sky is dark
and the torch lights come out;
eyes shining from reflected light.
Everyone should shine so.
erthona
©1998 revised 2016