Little Brown Women

[aschueler]

Little Brown Women 
 
Little brown women, little brown women,
I love little brown women;
the way they cover their mouth
when they laugh in the morning
as though laughing were a sin.
Everyone should sin so.
 
I love little brown women
in the market at noon
hips swaying to the rhythm
of the breeze in their hair
courting the lusty sun.
Everyone should sway so.
 
I love little brown women,
sitting in the shade, in the evening,
with their small hungry babes
who fiercely suck and paw their breast.
Everyone should sit so.
 
I love little brown women,
at night, when the sky is dark
and the torch lights come out;
eyes shining from reflected light.
Everyone should shine so.
 
 
erthona
 
 
©1998 revised 2016

I almost missed this poem.  I hate to admit it, but Erthona being the author does change how I would interpret it, as I presume greater depth than perhaps apparent.  Before I am corrected, I know authorship per se shouldn't matter, but life is like that.

So.  


when they laugh in the morning
as though laughing were a sin.
Everyone should sin so.

I think that's a little off but it may be done by design, or maybe you didn't mean trochee per se, and you are used to writing stressed/unstressed naturally.  However it looks like it's just inconsistent.  Then again I could see it 

Everyone should sin so.

I think the strength of the word sin yields it stressed.

Subject matter wise:

I didn't find this sexist.  I think it is partly meant to be challenging.  First, it's not "brown girls"...it's women.  I read this as appreciation of the beauty of little brown women and appreciation of their femininity.  I see this in the word choice, the breast feeding, and the overall tone that avoids anything sexual per se, just gender related.  

Can't tell what nationality we are, but the torches are odd.  Setting is vague as well, which makes interpretation a little more vague and difficult.  Islands?

The areas of weakness I find are:  1.  Repetition in line 1
2.  Second strophe:  hips swaying to what?  rhythm from their hair?  in breeze?  Can't picture it.
3.  Third strophe:  breast feeding is an amazing thing, but fierce just doesn't belong here. 

I enjoyed it, and the thought provocation.