American Beauties

[71degrees]

One spring the city we lived in was sex,
caught heat in cool, rainy weather

we slept next to a radiator by a window
on the east side to make this fresher right here you could use something other that the east side

it was our slice of space: damp sheets,
crepe-like wallpaper, orange and yellow

For one whole season, you left your vagina
where I could find it really like this line

Later, you thanked me, but explained
there’d been a change in our story love the phrasing of this

and you left just after all the American Beauties
broke their first blossoms

I cannot criticize much in this.  I really like it.  I think it has a style to it and voice.  The one part I would change is the bit about the east side...something else would be better...maybe even to face the rising sun.

I guess I would need a valid reason. "....something else would be better...." doesn't say much to me. "cannot criticize much" I do like Thanks.