Time (moved from Mild to Fun)

Time (moved from Mild to Fun)

milo

mmmmm, brandy

Posts: 1,279
Threads: 187
Joined: Dec 2016

04-06-2016, 02:02 AM

This poem is not something I would normally read twice. It is currently clunky and needs a severe editing pass for meter, structure and control. As for the humour, it is a rather tired image and pretty predictable at that so I don't think it holds up.

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Messages In This Thread

Time (moved from Mild to Fun) - by Uncle Tony - 04-05-2016, 08:51 AM

RE: Time - by billy - 04-05-2016, 05:50 PM

RE: Time - by Uncle Tony - 04-06-2016, 01:07 AM

RE: Time - by ellajam - 04-06-2016, 01:17 AM

RE: Time - by Achebe - 04-05-2016, 10:01 PM

RE: Time - by Uncle Tony - 04-06-2016, 01:18 AM

RE: Time - by Achebe - 04-06-2016, 01:30 AM

RE: Time - by Uncle Tony - 04-06-2016, 02:25 AM

RE: Time - by ellajam - 04-06-2016, 01:48 AM

RE: Time - by milo - 04-06-2016, 02:02 AM

RE: Time - by Weeded - 04-06-2016, 02:59 AM

RE: Time (moved from Mild to Fun) - by milo - 04-06-2016, 03:51 AM

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