Daliesque

[billy]

Daliesque

I.
The knife is longer an unusual opener but apt to the title, i like it
than the whole damn street
and there is tiny you
small as ginger root
on the cutting board
in My kitchen.

My pale Queen Kong hand
can barely fit through the door.
I want to chop you up, but I can’t is the 2nd [I] needed?
get the friggin knife in the house past the handle;
the clock is bubbling on the stove. great image and metaphor, again well suited to his artwork
Vapor screams anguish like a raging teapot
of the thousand times I died for you. of or at?

Then I know what to do.

II.
…The soup was delicious, everyone said so
as they dipped their spoons into the swimming pool is [as] needed?
where sorrow, hate, and evil drowned
and I could smile again when silver reflected the is [and] needed? would the [the] work better on the next line if you replace the [and] in that line with a commar?
sun and it looked like love.
I could finally throw out the oiled saddle rippling into sand;
Free free free can this be expressed better visually?
from your chewy gristle never
to be ridden again.


how to use the size function: no need to size every line.

the poem. after reading the other feedback i do agree it needs to suit his paintings but only as far as style goes, it isn't called "dali's art" his style here for me is being used as a carrier. my problem is this, is the turmoil aimed at the "you on the cutting board {maybe a joint of meat}" or the turmoil of doing the meal for others. i think in places you could remove a tiny bit of excess. the images do capture the artists style and so works well if that was your aim. all my comments are small potatoes on an enjoyable time in your crazy kitchen.

Code:

[size=medium]Daliesque

I.
The knife is longer [b]an unusual opener but apt to the title, i like it[/b]
than the whole damn street
and there is tiny you
small as ginger root
on the cutting board
in My kitchen.

My pale Queen Kong hand
can barely fit through the door.
I want to chop you up, but I can’t[b] is the 2nd [I] needed?[/b]
get the friggin knife in the house past the handle;
the clock is bubbling on the stove. [b]great image and metaphor, again well suited to his artwork[/b]
Vapor screams anguish like a raging teapot
of the thousand times I died for you.[b] of or at?[/b]

Then I know what to do.

II.
…The soup was delicious, everyone said so
as they dipped their spoons into the swimming pool [b]is [as] needed?[/b]
where sorrow, hate, and evil drowned
and I could smile again when silver reflected the [b]is [and] needed? would the [the] work better on the next line if you replace the [and] in that line with a commar?[/b]
sun and it looked like love.
I could finally throw out the oiled saddle rippling into sand;
Free free free [b]can this be expressed better visually?[/b]
from your chewy gristle never
to be ridden again.[/size]

Daliesque
 
I.
The knife is longer
than the whole damn street
and there is tiny you
small as ginger root
on the cutting board
in My kitchen.
 
My pale Queen Kong hand
can barely fit through the door.
I want to chop you up, but I can’t
get the friggin knife in the house past the handle;
the clock is bubbling on the stove.
Vapor screams anguish like a raging teapot
of the thousand times I died for you.
 
Then I know what to do.
 
II.
…The soup was delicious, everyone said so
as they dipped their spoons into the swimming pool
where sorrow, hate, and evil drowned
and I could smile again when silver reflected the
sun and it looked like love.
I could finally throw out the oiled saddle rippling into sand;
Free free free
from your chewy gristle never
to be ridden again.

---

So I am doing a project.  Basically I am in love with the dictionary and I go through and find a word.  This is a dictionary piece.