No Vacancy

[sithcat]

Thanks for sharing your poem! It looks like you've already gotten some good feedback, but I will share my thoughts as well and hopefully you find something useful in them. I take your poem to be about the loneliness one can feel when faced with a life of addiction or some other crippling, self inflicting trauma or illness. 

My favorite lines were "The friends that left you far behind, the bitterness that stayed." I liked the opposing forces used. 

I am also interested in the choice of the term 'crippled'. This implies a wound that is inflected by others or is a result of an accident. Yet the rest of the poem places the blame for the subject's misfortune squarely on his/her own shoulders. Words like 'broken' or 'damaged' may be a little cliched, but they have a connotation closer to your possible intended meaning. 

I enjoy the rhythm and flow of the poem and quiet like the rhyming, however I would like to see more details and more punch. Are there examples, metaphorical or otherwise, you can include so that the reader is more tied to the story of the poem? What did the subject do to hurt him/her - self or others? Can you add a few lines in to illustrate that?  

Thanks again for sharing and best of luck.

Best,
sithcat