03-28-2016, 10:32 AM
(03-28-2016, 05:56 AM)Mr.Malicious Wrote: Before I start this freakshow lemme give you a bit of background on me, my writing, and cakepops. (not really, but that would be cool!)
So, I started writing about 4 weeks ago as a way to vent the troubles of my life, now before you say this is just going to be empty hate speech or anything of the like, I am going to describe multiple situations I am or have experience or experienced. My writing is kinda gonna take a macabre sorta direction, so gore/horror might be involved, recommend me a site or anything if it isn't really the type of thing that belongs here. But onto this horror of some sort.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh what a time to be alive.
Consumerism fills the air
those who have the most followers
rule this rock
we all live on
Oh what a time to be content.
Patriots
Riots
What even is the difference?
You see another nigga
I see another animal.
Oh, what a time to be alive.
The stench of religion drowns out
the aroma of cognizance.
Oh what a time to be fading.
All the gentlemen are dead
And the undead "gangstas"
Crawl from they're graves.
Oh what a time to be withering.
The hindered kindred of machines
programmed to listen to screens.
Oh what a time to be another machine.
oh what a time is cliche. Actually the poem is cliche. It becomes tedious. Poems about hate cut deeper when they have a sharp edge. This thing has been through the presser more than a few times. Consider what you have added that is new. If you have not created something is said in a new way, why bother? Most of the lines of this poem have been said in some other poem.
Stop making allusions to how you feel and just say it clearly.