03-26-2016, 12:40 AM
Very well written. I have no nits to pick. The pace of the poem is brisk, the language fresh and clean. The story rolls off the N.'s tongue with an enviable crispness. Moreover, the obvious self-assurance and self esteem of the N. are endearing.
There are several wonderful turns of phrase - 'girls with Venus legs flytrap shut', 'you can’t unring the bell', and 'gulped a big glass of fuck you'.
I love the economy with which the whole scene is set with so few words in the first stanza.
There seems to be a little subtle irony in the title as well, without being overdone.
Love the poem
T
There are several wonderful turns of phrase - 'girls with Venus legs flytrap shut', 'you can’t unring the bell', and 'gulped a big glass of fuck you'.
I love the economy with which the whole scene is set with so few words in the first stanza.
There seems to be a little subtle irony in the title as well, without being overdone.
Love the poem
T