03-22-2016, 03:51 PM
(03-15-2016, 11:02 PM)Achebe Wrote: seed-stained is nice for the two levels of meaning. I'd retain once bathed....seed-stained and rewrite everything else around it. The other lines at the moment don't have the same punch.Sorta sucks, then, since the other lines are the main point. I once thought it was those very lines that should be removed, not your way round -- oh well. I guess when I get too metaphysical, I do end up sacrificing punch for clarity (or the other way round, to equally ill effect).