If Maury Povich Were in Charge

[Nester]

If Maury Povich Were in Charge


"How many bastards
born today?"

"Twenty-three
per second, sir". Narrowed eyes.
"They brought Blue Eyes back." Widened.
"Spit from his shot glass."

"Can we take it all?”

"Servers are spread too wide:
bulk insertions with multiple packets.
We risk SQL injection,
a virus, a bug."

"Algorithms?"

"Lived too much for naive Bayes;
not enough for neural nets."

"Nearest neighbor?"

"Won't converge: this much P
is an NP problem."

"Who's waiting?"

"A small potentate; six pashas;
the Lindbergh baby."
Arched.
"Spit from his sippy cup."




“I wish GoogleDoc would abort.”

“They tried. We asked them to try again.”
Questioning?
“Fail”.