Flicker

[Nester]

This is just a snippet of a poem. Given the content I think it works.


Flicker

A match is lit and all he sees is fire.
In that moment before exhale and words
he senses apocalypse a frayed leash.
Wide-eyed, he trembles.
No movement - the world moves around him.
He blinks;
a gentle wind and beyond that, silence.

I think the first line works, even if it can't be literally true. It has a good rhythm, and sets the right tone. To my ear, the third line sounds awkward: you might try something like:

In that moment before exhale and words,
sensing apocalypse: a frayed leash.

In the 5th line, I would delete the "No movement", since it is implied in the rest of the line.

I do agree that the poem is vague, but since it's a fragment, you might be able to make up for that in other parts of the work.

Hope this helps,

Nester