Give a man a rod…edit 1.0

[tectak]

tectak - hello! This is my first critique in this forum. I hope you find it useful.

On the whole I like the way this hangs together. There are some aspects I really like, but some of your imagery isn't working for me. In particular -

"A mist  crawls down, spring-born in woody fell, spilling like milk."

To me, mist and milk are so dissimilar they don't work as a simile. I can't wrap my head around the image.  

"Another cast or two before the sun gives up its ghosts"

Is this a reference to the passing of shadows? I don't get it.

"The mist mutes all"

Not sure if this qualifies as imagery, but does mist mute? I don't know. Gave me pause.

On a more positive note, this line: "whenever my rod tip bends and dips…or when a letter arrives" comes right out of left field and works wonderfully. Loved it. It speaks to the rest of the poem beautifully and simply.

Well done, looking forward to reading more of yours,

- Matt

"

Hi matt and thanks.
You are more than permitted not to "get" imagery. It is my fault if you do not. I write more often than not from an "as seen" stance. The "mik like mist" or "mist like milk" was a spontaneous occurence. At dew point on the day a dense white mist poured slowly down a stream-formed crevice from a moorland copse, and spilled out across the surface of a deep,still loop of the Esk river. The sun caught it. The image was immediate and probably more descriptive than metaphorical.
Swirling white columns lifted from the surface water as the sun dropped and temperature differences caused breezes to shift; the sprites (ghosts) moved into the shade of surrounding trees and vanished...as would they all when the sun dropped. OK...that's the long version How well this scene was encapsulated is a measure of the poetry. Mist DOES mute sound...I have found this many times though I suspect it is not a physical muffling but more a "bending" of sound in static temperature "bands"...like hearing cocks crow or distant church bells on still mornings. Not very poetic...more cold science.
Now, why the explanation. Well, as I said at the beginning, it is an excuse indeed. Think no less of me. This one wrote itself
Best,
tectak