Bloomer

[TonyMahoney]

Hello,
I'm new to the site and I haven't much experience in critiquing poetry but I will give it a try. I really enjoyed this poem. Very nice imagery. Nice flow to the words. The feeling that I got from it was bittersweet. I was reminded of a time when I found comfort in the memory of a love that I had lost. The fourth stanza could be a little confusing given the juxtaposition of the night with the bright meadows but I interpreted it to be symbolic of the speaker's mindset or emotional predisposition in comparison with those around him as opposed to being indicative of the time of day. I may be way off. Either way I really enjoyed it. Thanks.

I wrote this several months ago, and I'm not entirely sure if there's anything to salvage of it.  I've scrapped and redone the last stanza a few times, changed and rearranged in places, only to be more frustrated than contented.

(Bloomer)

Light of night spills over evergreen
   and into me;
silver strands swirl beneath my skin.

A lunar hum speaks to me
    in dreams now,
in visions of what’s always been.

Mapping patterns into my mind,
    behind my eyes,
and beneath the tides.

I reach for her now in the night,
    as leaves of great blooming things
turn towards the sun of meadows bright.

As by dark’s descent, my petals unfold
    giving way to her heavy pull,
the light of her; her steady glow.