Give a man a rod…edit 1.0

[tectak]

Sorry tectak I missed the first version so I'm gonna crit what I see now, Theres something not quite working for me. The descriptive pieces really work well and set the tone of the day petering away perfectly. In the second half of the poem when you switch to a more reflective commentary all is very nicely rendered but you then introduces us to you and letters, it all just seemed rushed packed into the last four lines, when previously you gave us five to tell us about the setting. I do think the fish letter comparison works I just think it either needs expanding or bringing in earlier. Some notes below. Best Keith  

It's cooler now, beside the stream; my floating line lies traceless. sets the scene well and I can see the dark water masking the line, V nice I'm in.
A mist  crawls down, spring-born in woody fell, spilling like milk. Lovely but it either crawls or it spills I think you should choose and have another look at the phrasing it seems like there is a word missing (Mist spills like milk, spring-born from a wooded fell)
The light, white breath of dying day shifts and shimmies shimmies sound a bit comical but it could just be me
surface sprites above the drift; rising and falling, rising and falling. lovely descriptive verse really takes the reader close up
You get to thinking: it's no good crying...never was.
Another cast or two before the sun gives up its ghosts I would move this line above "you get to thinking" so we now why its no use crying before it happens.
then I will fish no more today. My net hangs empty in the shallows. Nice image and I wondered about a metaphor
What is fishing without fish? A moment now and then of joy Why not make this S2
-- anticipation isn’t what it used to be-- but I need the hook
to pull me, tempt me, keep me to the task...or I am alone.
I see the line twitch but hear nothing. The mist mutes all. the muting mist is a nice touch
Some days you just have to believe. A tugging from a distant fish
is like a message from you. Familiar feelings flood over me This all comes in too fast and totally left field
whenever my rod tip bends and dips…or when a letter arrives.
Fish and letters; it’s been a while. Sometimes I think
there’s no fish here at all…but I'll be back tomorrow.  Ok I could be changing my mind a little because I really like this throw away end line that makes what has gone before just what it reads like...just a passing thought. Im not sure, you can decide.

tectak beside an Esk pool 2016

Hope some of this helps, Best Keith

...a twist a the end of a tail is best kept 'til the end of the tale, my mother always said. I have no idea what the hell she was talking about but a core metaphor should last as long as the poem.
A mist spring-born...new as in spring ( the season of rebirth) and "from a spring" because mist often rises through woodland tree tops from a hidden spring. If it is just born, it crawls like a baby...so crawls. The "spills like milk" is a pictorial link to exemplify how white the mist and how it flows, to the "it's no use crying (over spilt milk)". I guess I am trying too hard.
Thanks, Keith, for you perseverence!
Best,
tectak