A Blackbirds lament

[Keith]

I had laid the breadcrumbs Oh dear me. "I had laid the breadcrumbs (then) I hid behind the garden wall" can be restated. " I laid the breadcrumbs then hid behind the garden wall. I waited ( we have lost the need for "had laid" and "had waited") in silence as you landed, lined (up) the sight and squeezed the trigger. It was all my responsibility (fault?)". This is how I would write it, Keith. You are not me so no offence either way. Frankly, what I am doing is rewriting it not as I would write it, but as how I read it. Suggestions only.
hid behind the garden wall
waited in silence as you landed,
lined the sight, squeezed the trigger
it was all my responsibility.

Thank you for your considered reply tectak some good stuff for tomorrows edit I hope...but just to clarify if I'm reading the above correctly your saying...I am playing all the right notes but not necessarily in the right order Best Keith