Fresh and Young

[Tiger the Lion]

This is beautiful, and sad. I think the whole poem is in the first strophe. I will make a few notes now, and return when I have more.

Fresh and Young
 
Moment to moment, don't need this comma. (or any of them) You're slowing it unnecessarily. 
this old heart must decide,
if it is worth the effort,
to gather the energy,
for one more beat,
too keep this body alive. "to" - dizlekshea boy
 
I see young children play
and I think I would not mind
having some of that energy—
age and wisdom are highly over-rated—. stronger without "highly" - go figure
Some of my peers rail and jeer
at the young girls dressed so skimpily. same with "so"
"It should be banned," they say,
but they only talk that way
because they would like to partake.
 
Do not be deceived by the old
with skin reptilian dry
and kisses of Death's cold.
Given half a chance
they would take your youthful warmth  
leaving you a worthless husk to fill their place.
So do not come too close,
do not let your heart feel
sorrow for these "oldlings". "oldlings" works for me. But in quotes it feels like you're forcing it on us. 
 
They have, had their one chance at life strike "one". again we get it. too much
and used it for good or ill,
but I will tell you a secret;
each and everyone of them has one regret. every one - 2 words here
It burns them and the burning is never done. perfect as is 
They burn to trade the used life they have
for one still fresh and young.   
 
erthona
 
©2016

I will be back with some more thoughtful crit. Wanted to get a start.
Paul