03-02-2016, 02:36 AM
I really like the subject matter, and it is well executed. It is my belief that poetry should read however the author wants it to read, which is why free verse can be so fun and well, free. However the reader might prefer that you used punctuation instead of consecutive lines that may appear to run on. You could fix this with commas at the end of certain lines.
Aldous Huxley had this to say about faith versus belief:
"Faith is something very different from belief. Belief is the systematic taking of unanalyzed words much too seriously. Paul's words, Mohammed's words, Marx's words, Hitler's words---people take them too seriously, and what happens? What happens is the senseless ambivalence of history---sadism versus duty, or (incomparably worse) sadism as duty; devotion counterbalanced by organized paranoia; sisters of charity selflessly tending the victims of their own church's inquisitors and crusaders. Faith, on the contrary, can never be taken too seriously. For Faith is the empirically justified confidence in our capacity to know who in fact we are, to forget the belief-intoxicated Manichee in Good Being.”
I'm curious to know which one you are alluding to in your poem.
Good job.
Aldous Huxley had this to say about faith versus belief:
"Faith is something very different from belief. Belief is the systematic taking of unanalyzed words much too seriously. Paul's words, Mohammed's words, Marx's words, Hitler's words---people take them too seriously, and what happens? What happens is the senseless ambivalence of history---sadism versus duty, or (incomparably worse) sadism as duty; devotion counterbalanced by organized paranoia; sisters of charity selflessly tending the victims of their own church's inquisitors and crusaders. Faith, on the contrary, can never be taken too seriously. For Faith is the empirically justified confidence in our capacity to know who in fact we are, to forget the belief-intoxicated Manichee in Good Being.”
I'm curious to know which one you are alluding to in your poem.
Good job.