Bitter farewell

[Erthona]

I agree. Most of what you picked up on was me trying to give the feel of the language without resorting to pseudo-dialect, as that is all it could be, being Old English. However, if it sticks out, it is not working. Yes, on the name, one can only say bitch so many times.
The idea of the poem and you can tell me if this came across was, that they loved each other, but he was unable to really love her because of his duty to the country, especially as his body was the country and as he went so did the country. So although he looked and grieved because he could not love her as he should, the country took precedence and in this way he was a god who was trying to love a mortal. Well, that was the idea. As the myth is so well known, I saw no need to make hat obvious and only allude to it. I will look at cleaning up the language where I can. Certainly things such as can not which is a typo to begin with, but also try and cut back on some of the verbosity without losing the feel I am trying to convey.

Thanks for your help, much appreciated,

dale