Faith

[escher]

The first three sentences are dependant clauses.

"Mortality has always preoccupied the clever ape who fears change above all else, the only unknown in which I have found faith." (How can one find faith in an unknown?)
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"The difficulty for the ape in me is to see beauty imminently."

imminently: "likely to occur at any moment; impending"

This line seem to be there for the rhyme, otherwise it makes little sense.
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This is (obviously) not particularly well written. The lines that do make sense are more or less cliche.  The idea of faith seems barely spoken to , of course the first three sentences does prejudice one.

Best,

dale

Hi there, thanks for taking the time to critique this, its always very insightful. 

I had meant by 'the only unknown in which I have faith' to refer to change/transformation. Im wondering if my sentence structure failed to make that clear?  

The "beauty immanently" line  was a comment on whether we can find beauty in impending change/transformation/letting go of death, (whether physical or conceptual, like loss of identity). It seems to me like there is much of that resistance in life, especially for the animal who has evolved to have knowledge of their own mortality/transience.  
My purpose was to try to find an sense of holiness or sacredness in what I perceive as the reality/mystery of life - its a sort of response to religion.   

Thanks again

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there's a lot of unfinished sentences in here, especially since you used capitals and proper punctuation... the subject of faith can make for good poetry if done well (and only if done very well) but here there is nothing new to say. you use rich language to disguise a very simple point: faith is good, faith is great, faith is really great. if you intend to edit this poem, think carefully on what you have to say, and if you truly have something to say, go with that. no matter how beautifully a poem reads or you think it reads, a poem must have meat as well as nicely constructed bones. good luck!

43.

Thanks for pointing out the sentence structure, I can see now that I have to execute each line better. I would like to make the poem clearer that its not about faith being great, but that faith has been misunderstood for so long (millennia), and that it doesn't seem relevant in todays increasing knowledge of what we know about our world. I tried to make the harsh realities humans struggle to deal with in life - transience and death - as beautiful/poetic as religion makes it, without stepping outside our world.