The Root

[aschueler]

I wanted to read this more before critiquing, but my internet is up and I am between fevers with this viral illness we have all been enjoying.  

I enjoyed your lil' poem a lot.  Had to work to find rough edges to improve.

It starts small, slowly spreading like
a bitter taste some like. Some don't.Very nice opening.  Made me think of IPA beer.
Until a zealot makes it so
important people turn corrupt
just for a single second of
that aftertaste. It burns you numb
until you need it; once you need
it you demand it, which creates   These 2 lines are a weakness, "creates supply essential" is awkward and loses inertia
supply essential every time
a person tastes. The zealot knows
his forte tricks like his right hand,
surrounding blind heretics with
men who need, so schismatic zeal  This should be good, but I it's too much of the word zeal/zealot at this point;  drop the zeal and try something else;  need?thirst? 
turns into zealots. More zealots
turn into a small annoyance
for some while others don't quite mind.  This last sentence is a little confusing but I don't mind it.

In fact, supply control is their
strength. They change worlds, all for a taste.
Addiction spreads, so they become
more. With more brings demand which brings
men power. They sit back and laugh
because they know how simple rules
create them while others remain
blind to the taste that somehow sparks
like French champagne on the mouths roof,  Somewhat obvious inversion for meter
tickling like sensations of breath
or comfort building cellars on
gravesites and tombs. The product: all

you see. No grape just bottles full
for you. Go on and have a taste,

now tell me what you see.  Ending could use a little more punch