02-24-2016, 09:44 AM
Mark,
This is my first time reading this, but being that it's not much to digest (five words) I'll try and have a go at what you're asking.
The first thing I'd change is the title; it feels kind of wasted (especially if this piece is meaningful to you) to entitle it simply with the date it was shared (kinda reminds me of a poem titled "poem one" or somethin like that). Perhaps you have your reasons but I'm not seeing any, personally.
And being an American thats spent three years in England, I'd imagine I possibly have a bit more to offer you in terms of this particular discussion, but to be honest I've never heard the term 'spacca.' That said, it seems the most offensive word I learned in my travels (and this goes for both countries) is 'cunt.' Something about calling someone a 'cunt' just makes me cringe if used improperly, and furious is used properly(toward me). Maybe your perception of 'spacca' being so offensive is more of a personal thing? I know this is also subcultural, but in the hip-hop community 'spaz' specifically is actually quite the compliment (i.e. "Did you hear that dude? He hella spazzed on that track"), but again to call someone with cerebral palsy a spaz(spacca) is just fucked up. Hmm, maybe make it more apparent that the children are mocking someone with a mental condition? If your friend understood right away though that may not be the issue.
Children are by far the cruelest in terms of verbal animosity-- that said I wouldn't be afraid to get even nastier, children have no filter, so why should you in this one? Hehe just my opinion though. And honestly, I think the British (not sure bout Scots) have far more nicer children than the States. So if you were worried about international appeal, well to me thats all the more reason to get even nastier.
Also, Americans tend to be a bit uh, how do I put this lightly... Stupider? Especially at the age of a young child. I believe our educational system is to blame, America seems set on a curriculum that focuses on glorifying the country and seems more of a brainwashing system than an educational system (ope, here comes my conspiracy theories...). England (again not sure bout Scotland but I'd imagine theyre pretty similar) is all about cramming as much knowledge into a childs brain and making them realize they're not children at an early age, I mean you got 16 year olds learning what 18-21 year olds over here are learning. That said, in a poem of five words, where the main focus/meaning/power is dependent on the word 'spacca' might be where the effect becomes lost.
What makes a word offensive/empowering? In reflection of what I just wrote, I'd have to go with context. I had no idea someone with a mental condition was being described in this one, yet I also had no idea what spacca meant either. But even in this context, 'laughing' sounds a bit playful (as children are, which helps to the innocence you're going for). You also have 'children laughing at the "spacca"' which kinda reads like the speaker him/herself is calling the person a 'spacca.' The quotes kinda leave me a bit more confused too, personally.
A "fun" game the children used to play when I lived in Louisiana was to pick on one child to the point he/she literally breaks down to tears or goes crazy and starts fighting. This sometimes would take up the whole recess, sometimes it would take days, so not one insult, but many were thrown at the victim (children with mental conditions were not excluded). Maybe 'spacca' isnt enough?
Anyway, I hope this helps, and I hope you're not offended with my comparing England to Scotland. They seemed culturally pretty similar but I've only been to Edinburgh so I wouldn't truly know. Thanks for bumping this was cool to run into,
mike
This is my first time reading this, but being that it's not much to digest (five words) I'll try and have a go at what you're asking.
The first thing I'd change is the title; it feels kind of wasted (especially if this piece is meaningful to you) to entitle it simply with the date it was shared (kinda reminds me of a poem titled "poem one" or somethin like that). Perhaps you have your reasons but I'm not seeing any, personally.
And being an American thats spent three years in England, I'd imagine I possibly have a bit more to offer you in terms of this particular discussion, but to be honest I've never heard the term 'spacca.' That said, it seems the most offensive word I learned in my travels (and this goes for both countries) is 'cunt.' Something about calling someone a 'cunt' just makes me cringe if used improperly, and furious is used properly(toward me). Maybe your perception of 'spacca' being so offensive is more of a personal thing? I know this is also subcultural, but in the hip-hop community 'spaz' specifically is actually quite the compliment (i.e. "Did you hear that dude? He hella spazzed on that track"), but again to call someone with cerebral palsy a spaz(spacca) is just fucked up. Hmm, maybe make it more apparent that the children are mocking someone with a mental condition? If your friend understood right away though that may not be the issue.
Children are by far the cruelest in terms of verbal animosity-- that said I wouldn't be afraid to get even nastier, children have no filter, so why should you in this one? Hehe just my opinion though. And honestly, I think the British (not sure bout Scots) have far more nicer children than the States. So if you were worried about international appeal, well to me thats all the more reason to get even nastier.
Also, Americans tend to be a bit uh, how do I put this lightly... Stupider? Especially at the age of a young child. I believe our educational system is to blame, America seems set on a curriculum that focuses on glorifying the country and seems more of a brainwashing system than an educational system (ope, here comes my conspiracy theories...). England (again not sure bout Scotland but I'd imagine theyre pretty similar) is all about cramming as much knowledge into a childs brain and making them realize they're not children at an early age, I mean you got 16 year olds learning what 18-21 year olds over here are learning. That said, in a poem of five words, where the main focus/meaning/power is dependent on the word 'spacca' might be where the effect becomes lost.
What makes a word offensive/empowering? In reflection of what I just wrote, I'd have to go with context. I had no idea someone with a mental condition was being described in this one, yet I also had no idea what spacca meant either. But even in this context, 'laughing' sounds a bit playful (as children are, which helps to the innocence you're going for). You also have 'children laughing at the "spacca"' which kinda reads like the speaker him/herself is calling the person a 'spacca.' The quotes kinda leave me a bit more confused too, personally.
A "fun" game the children used to play when I lived in Louisiana was to pick on one child to the point he/she literally breaks down to tears or goes crazy and starts fighting. This sometimes would take up the whole recess, sometimes it would take days, so not one insult, but many were thrown at the victim (children with mental conditions were not excluded). Maybe 'spacca' isnt enough?
Anyway, I hope this helps, and I hope you're not offended with my comparing England to Scotland. They seemed culturally pretty similar but I've only been to Edinburgh so I wouldn't truly know. Thanks for bumping this was cool to run into,
mike
Crit away