My first poem-Plz help
#9
Personally,  I think some lines can be written in a shorter and more concise while retaining their original meaning.  For example, the second line 

"Is it fair to say,
Shuffled, life must be." 

Also, I prefer cutting poem into stanzas to leaving the poems as a wall of text.
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Messages In This Thread
My first poem-Plz help - by Grim - 02-18-2016, 11:53 PM
RE: My first poem-Plz help - by Magpie - 02-19-2016, 02:42 AM
RE: My first poem-Plz help - by ellajam - 02-19-2016, 02:45 AM
RE: My first poem-Plz help - by billy - 02-19-2016, 03:37 AM
RE: My first poem-Plz help - by QDeathstar - 02-19-2016, 03:59 AM
RE: My first poem-Plz help - by Kal19 - 02-19-2016, 11:55 PM
RE: My first poem-Plz help - by Achebe - 02-20-2016, 01:20 AM
RE: My first poem-Plz help - by Julius - 02-20-2016, 08:44 PM
RE: My first poem-Plz help - by 1skylande1 - 02-22-2016, 09:12 PM



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