Samsara

[ellajam]

Although the stench of death is a cliche it certainly does its job. If you can think of something else that sets the scene as well I guess it would be an improvement, it was effective enough to not bother me.

good that it doesn't bother you - I considered a couple other things but nothing so far that doesnt sound ridiculous.

I use cliches in speech all the time, we call them expressions, so they don't rub me the wrong way as quickly as they seem to bother some people. For me, sometimes a poem has too many new ways of saying something and unless it's brilliant it just smells of trying too hard.