02-21-2016, 08:32 PM
Rev 3, Done.
Spring fog hovers
halfway up trees that
hide crows playing
marco polo
Revision 2
Warm fog holds to trees,
as crows call out marco polo.
Revision 1
Fog hovers half up the trees,
crows play marco polo through the leaves.
Soft earthsmell from warming ground rises,
life comes again from fall.
(original)
Soft fog holds to trees,
crows call out marco polo
warming ground wakens.
[normally I dislike haiku as much as okra. This stuck in my head. Feel free to go after with wild abandon, it was a quick write]
Spring fog hovers
halfway up trees that
hide crows playing
marco polo
Revision 2
Warm fog holds to trees,
as crows call out marco polo.
Revision 1
Fog hovers half up the trees,
crows play marco polo through the leaves.
Soft earthsmell from warming ground rises,
life comes again from fall.
(original)
Soft fog holds to trees,
crows call out marco polo
warming ground wakens.
[normally I dislike haiku as much as okra. This stuck in my head. Feel free to go after with wild abandon, it was a quick write]