02-21-2016, 11:50 AM
(02-20-2016, 07:37 AM)Julius Wrote: Gentle AutumnHi Julius,
Come here my love and lay awhile with me,
And with your weary head upon my breast,
Relax and let your thoughts drift dreamily
As you and I together take our rest.
This is our time of close companionship,
Take comfort in the warmth of my embrace
And smile, as softly with my finger tip
I trace familiar contours of your face.
I ask no more of life than tenderness,
Our youthful times of passion being spent;
But do not think my love is any less,
Or that in life today I’m not content.
We shared our Spring and Summer, dearest wife;
So now the gentle Autumn of our life.
After reading the first line I said oh boy and settled in for what I thought was going to be bad (cheesy). I am not criticizing your first line, just saying what I expected based on reading some terrible love poem writing in the past. I was pleasantly surprised. This is really nice and actually is quite lovely, not too mention sweet. It ends beautifully.
"Write while the heat is in you...The writer who postpones the recording of his thoughts uses an iron which has cooled to burn a hole with." --Henry David Thoreau