02-20-2016, 10:09 PM
Julius,
Thanks for sharing. I commend your use of meter (something I still have alot of trouble applying), and after reading the other critiques I dont have much to say other than I agree completely with Milo and Achebe.
Every single line in this poem rings in my mind of a similar line, to the point when I was finished with the poem, there wasn't much for me to take out of it. After reading a second time I take even less from it, quite the opposite effect a poem should have in my opinion. I would focus on these two users critiques as they're both very constructive and go from there.
Thanks for sharing again
mike
Thanks for sharing. I commend your use of meter (something I still have alot of trouble applying), and after reading the other critiques I dont have much to say other than I agree completely with Milo and Achebe.
Every single line in this poem rings in my mind of a similar line, to the point when I was finished with the poem, there wasn't much for me to take out of it. After reading a second time I take even less from it, quite the opposite effect a poem should have in my opinion. I would focus on these two users critiques as they're both very constructive and go from there.
Thanks for sharing again
mike
Crit away