02-10-2016, 12:35 AM
So i was looking out my window today thinking what should i write for you all today how can i improve etc etc
I saw a owl sit around and then take off and started to write,
I had to stop as after the first paragraph as anything else i wrote it started to feel forced and i did not like that
Please critique it as much as you like:
Hardness touched the softest vision,
fluid in measure,
flushed by decision.
Time shows no mercy,
longing to ponder the night.
Tears fill rivers, the heart crystallize.
while the length reaches near,
stare forth and collide.
Left to a itself only emptiness inside.
fathom the cries, for this hour a bird takes flight.
I saw a owl sit around and then take off and started to write,
I had to stop as after the first paragraph as anything else i wrote it started to feel forced and i did not like that
Please critique it as much as you like:
Hardness touched the softest vision,
fluid in measure,
flushed by decision.
Time shows no mercy,
longing to ponder the night.
Tears fill rivers, the heart crystallize.
while the length reaches near,
stare forth and collide.
Left to a itself only emptiness inside.
fathom the cries, for this hour a bird takes flight.