02-09-2016, 07:29 AM
Poetry, especially at the amateur level that I certainly am, is quite a personal thing. If writing makes you think then that is a point in its favour IMO. I think starting a poem with questions can do that. Perhaps it is unusual, but it seems to work here.
I like the feeling of the lines:-
"When people choose to ponder beyond the waking dream,
a moment will come where dream is no more,"
Although Erthona makes many valid technical points, I think your poem has heart and feeling. As long as people feel that then your writing will please.
I like the feeling of the lines:-
"When people choose to ponder beyond the waking dream,
a moment will come where dream is no more,"
Although Erthona makes many valid technical points, I think your poem has heart and feeling. As long as people feel that then your writing will please.