02-01-2016, 11:10 PM
Succinct, which I like. I fully enjoy the first stanza. At the end of line 4, I lose that enjoyment with the word "tonight." This point, and everything that follows, simply isn't clear enough for me. I expect that more experienced readers will understand those lines a bit better, but the "aged leather and missing drawstrings" create an image that seems foreign to me. The final two lines bother me, as I have absolutely no idea what the subject is reaching out to. Maybe I missed something, but it just seems like it's vague for the sake of being vague.
If you're the smartest person in the room, you're in the wrong room.
"Or, if a poet writes a poem, then immediately commits suicide (as any decent poet should)..." -- Erthona
"Or, if a poet writes a poem, then immediately commits suicide (as any decent poet should)..." -- Erthona