Lent
#3
(01-29-2016, 10:26 PM)RiverNotch Wrote:  LENT

Lady Luna's copper tonight,
but up there, the air is dry.
Come on, let's meet and dance tonight,
for all preachers do is lie.
1. The 'but' in L2 implies a contradiction between being cuprous and being dry, which I would guess is not the intention.  I don't know if there is any more direct connection between Lent, copper, and dryness (apart from meaning 'no alcohol' for the third).
2. if you're repeating 'tonight' in L3, that word should be preceded by one that rhymes with 'copper'
~ I think I just quoted myself - Achebe
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Messages In This Thread
Lent - by RiverNotch - 01-29-2016, 10:26 PM
RE: Lent - by Erthona - 01-30-2016, 11:47 AM
RE: Lent - by Achebe - 01-31-2016, 02:22 AM
RE: Lent - by RiverNotch - 01-31-2016, 03:03 AM



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