Falling Leaves

[LukeSizemore]

Luke,

What a blissful poem you have here.  This is largely attributed to the rhyme and meter.  The only quibble I have is with the last stanza, specifically the last two lines.   It seems like you could end the poem in more creative and natural sounding way.   

"Teach our race to fall
With Your Grace and ease."

Grace and race sound forced to me.  The 'Your' in the last line threw me off a bit,

Hope my comments help.

-Nick
[/quote]

Thanks! And I know, man! I wanted to end it with 

Falling leaves that ride the breeze
Teach green leaves to leave the trees

Falling leaves that ride the breeze
Teach our race to fall with grace and with ease.

Or something along those lines, but didnt want to defer from my stanza consistency. maybe I should   

Thanks for the input!