Falling Leaves

[Brujo]

Falling leaves that ride the breeze

Your colors are a joy to see.

Gusts carry you sadly

As you glide gladly

From places used to be.

Falling leaves that ride the breeze

To where do you go

When gone from the tree?

Heaven or rot? Eden or not?

Seems no matter, you softly agree.

Falling leaves that ride the breeze

Your final flight enlightens me.

Colors you show

Patterns you grow

Shine in times of dark sorrow.

Falling leaves that ride the breeze

The hues have spoken sweet things to me.

That beauty arises in many disguises

Such are the lessons

I've learned from thee.

Falling leaves that ride the breeze

Teach green leaves

To leave the trees.

Teach our race to fall

With Your Grace and ease.

***Tried to put this in here without the "you, your, me, us" pronouns due to someone saying I need to eliminate as many pronouns as possible, but it just didn't feel right. Let me know if taking them out would be better. And advice/input is appreciated!

Luke,

What a blissful poem you have here.  This is largely attributed to the rhyme and meter.  The only quibble I have is with the last stanza, specifically the last two lines.   It seems like you could end the poem in more creative and natural sounding way.   

"Teach our race to fall
With Your Grace and ease."

Grace and race sound forced to me.  The 'Your' in the last line threw me off a bit,

Hope my comments help.

-Nick