01-27-2016, 11:24 AM
I love the feeling of nostalgia, and the mourning for time passed, that your poem evokes for me. I can see erosion at work, both physical, and of memory. In the first line, I want to put 'old' before 'gouged out' and in st 3 line 4 I think 'were' needs to be 'where'. I love 'sharp edged barefoot beaches' - can feel my toes curl up as I read. Also loved the layers in the last two lines.