California - Edit 1
#2
(01-22-2016, 07:30 AM)Wjames Wrote:  While evening sways the almond grove
and palm tree dates bloom on the beach,
your grandma slaves over the stove
to make a pie from summer peach.
Why "your" grandma? Why not "my" or drop it altogether? Just a thought. I like the progression of thoughts...almost geographically taking me through California in four lines. Not an easy thing to do.
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Messages In This Thread
California - Edit 1 - by Wjames - 01-22-2016, 07:30 AM
RE: California - by 71degrees - 01-22-2016, 01:03 PM
RE: California - by REW - 01-23-2016, 07:50 AM
RE: California - by i.might.be.a.bit.sad - 01-27-2016, 11:46 AM
RE: California - by Erthona - 01-27-2016, 12:01 PM
RE: California - by slecht - 02-01-2016, 10:48 AM
RE: California - by Wjames - 02-05-2016, 02:34 AM
RE: California - Edit 1 - by Wjames - 03-02-2016, 11:10 AM
RE: California - Edit 1 - by REW - 03-06-2016, 11:17 AM
RE: California - Edit 1 - by faerykid - 03-08-2016, 09:44 AM
RE: California - Edit 1 - by UselessBlueprint - 03-09-2016, 03:39 PM
RE: California - Edit 1 - by jameso - 03-11-2016, 09:22 AM



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