Hot Cement

[Achebe]

Hot Cement

Hot cement strikes young toes sharp .... Assuming that you're dancing, wouldn't feet make more sense than toes?
As we dance wildly in loose elastic ..... Nice line, but I'd expect an sham meant here after elastic
Swimming free, herds of hungry carp....school or shoal, not herd
My song is loud, your smile spastic

Corns of cob and melons balled
Fall deep in bellies, curled and compressed .... I assume you're at a fair or something like that. From this point on, I have no idea what you're describing if not sex
A game of sandman, bodies sprawled .... You are having sex on the dance floor....in the sun? 
Against hot cement, your arms outstretched

Perched upon your youthful frame
I swallow hard and begin my chant
Beckoning the Sandman's name
Adults inside, witnesses scant

A wincing look across your face
Lips pursed tight, then shouting, pleading
Flailing arms and helpless cries
I shush your cries and adjust my seating

Still you squirm and beg relief
My palms press hard, esteemed content
Assuring you this will be brief
"Don't be a baby", it's merely hot cement. ....the "merely" is unnecessary

With eyelids pinched and wrists restrained
I murmur through, reciting prayer
Deny relief as if ordained .... Do you need to be ordained to deny relief? Don't get this
Working undisturbed and free from error ..... The "working" needs to go

Finally the act's complete
I topple off, a heap of bones
A smile concealed, I sense defeat
Yet you can't suppress your woeful moans ...: the "yet" needs to go

A thrashing carp, you flop to your chest
A casualty hangs in his final hour
A carpenter bee has been laid to rest ..... Too many metaphors - carp, bee - too soon 
Sacrificed for those in power. ..... There's only one queen bee

General comments;
1) punctuation missing except at the end. Why?
2) I have no idea what I just read