01-21-2016, 11:32 PM
Thank you Dale and Ellajam for your continuing interest in this poem. I do agree with you and have attempted two things. I have rewritten one stanza in order to lose one of my knees (ouch
)
Secondly I have thought about the believability aspect. My wife and I are both septuagenarians and we do often have a little dance when the radio plays something of "our time" (today we had the Drifters singing "Saturday night at the Movies"). However, it is not a tearful moment. We usually end up laughing and my wife might well make a comment such as "Who is the daftest?" I have tried to incorporate a little of that mood.
PS I have also altered the order of the stanzas.
)Secondly I have thought about the believability aspect. My wife and I are both septuagenarians and we do often have a little dance when the radio plays something of "our time" (today we had the Drifters singing "Saturday night at the Movies"). However, it is not a tearful moment. We usually end up laughing and my wife might well make a comment such as "Who is the daftest?" I have tried to incorporate a little of that mood.
PS I have also altered the order of the stanzas.
