Old Folks at Home

[ellajam]

Hi, Julius, this is a fun read and I love the subject, those joyous things that fully engage us, the best pain relief. This is a solid edit but I think it's worth taking a little further. Some notes below.

The radio played, the beat rocked on
with music from an earlier time.
It sang a well remembered song
of teenage love “that was so fine”.
What song are you quoting? I remember "so fine".

And so despite arthritic knees, "and so" is filler, you have an opportunity to do something more interesting here.
at half the speed they used to do, they used to do is awkward.
secretly glad that no-one sees,
practised again the steps they knew.


Their little time of memories This doesn't quite make sense, I think something other than "little" could work better.
where, for a moment young again,
they could dismiss their stiffening knees
freed, for awhile, from nagging pain.


The music stopped, and so did they.
Now gone, the spell of sweet release;
and so came back to present day, again, not thrilled with the "so".
where aches and pains so rarely cease.

I hope this helps, glad you posted it.

Oh, I would also put the period after the quote, as you did, in this case.