01-18-2016, 06:07 AM
Really loved the message.
The line "as they returned to present day" doesn't quite feel right. Rewording it to something such as "retracted back to present day" or "now reeling in to present day" gives the stanza a more seamless flow. These also keep up with the writing style of using relatively uncommon and interesting words.
The line "as they returned to present day" doesn't quite feel right. Rewording it to something such as "retracted back to present day" or "now reeling in to present day" gives the stanza a more seamless flow. These also keep up with the writing style of using relatively uncommon and interesting words.