Snowmelt

[ellajam]

I have to agree with, Just Mercedes, about the cliche. Since the poem is so small, the majority ends up being the cliche, bleeding heart. Cliches can be used, if they are used in an original way, but associating be still, awakens and bleeding, with heart makes the entire poem sound plain.

Thanks for taking the time to comment, maybe I'll think of a new poem, or let it go as a fail.  Not the first or last.

I kind of feel it just needs to be developed into something more. I feel like you have  the seed of a poem here, and now you just need to make it bloom.

Thanks for the encouragement, I'll think about it.