Rats In Cages, Edit #2

[QDeathstar]

[I can only gain so much reading responses to other people's poetry, so it has some merit to let you critique my own work. I've done much editing to this, and there are portions I am not satisfied with, so it will likely be edited many more times. The statements are not as solid as I would like, but that could only come in the final wave of edits.]

There are rats in cages and mazes that are happier than I am. i feel this line, and the poem in general is very wordy. I like cages and mazes as a phase
They do not count walls and stars and debts. who counts walls?, why stars? It has an opposite connotation than walls (prison) and debts
They do not think of life and death or dark and light. rats don't think of dark and light? Or do you mean good an evil. Say what you mean.... I would rephrase it as "lustful life or righteous death" even though maybe it is cliche then you can skip out on the meaningless grouping split between "or"
They do not balance scales or walk with symmetry. i can only think of the scales of justice but don't see the importance of walking with balance...
They are not scientists or philosophers.
I can observe these rats, and define them.
I give them levers to pull on, to see if they decide. these lines are ok
I am their judge, and their sentence is death. this line lacks impact. It's cliche and just hanging out in the middle. I feel like conjuring up some slavery/owner imagery might be more useful. Judges are fair, speaker doesn't seem to be, imo
Still they pull on my levers but never question why. this and the next several lights need to be redone, they make no sense, a scat of awkward phrasing and psuedo English.
It is a chemical, and a muscle.
It is computable, and yet chaotic.
And though in vain, I believe it is noble.
It is violent and brings them pleasure
As they welcome peace and ponder war.
They shake in self-awareness at the product of their hands.
In reflection, they see their fur
Placed over skin that is not their own
Just before the glass breaks.

Finally, I'll just add that the poem is dangerously close to being cliche as a whole, although it has some nice word groupings that Save it. I would work on a more unique title. Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage,