Signs

[PoetCraft]

I like Edit 2 more. A really hot poem I seldom read about. Hope if my tricks can help:

Edit 2

In her palm (she held fire) --> "sets her on fire"
so bright; searing light on display --> burning so bright, so recklessly,
so all could see,
but (none could touch). --> "so inviolable".

He, entranced by her energy,
tried to (touch) her (incandescent) flame. --> "embrace", "blazing flame"
In his hand he held water, --> He comes in fluids (liquids?)
free-flowing and unconstrained.

Curiously, she gave her hand. Confused,
her brightness (diminished). --> get turbid.
She grew like a star, like a supernova --> She's raised as a baby star, once a supernova
until finally, she exploded. --> in the end, she blows up.

he without form
She without form