Stealing Fruit (edit 2)

Stealing Fruit (edit 2)

Achebe Offline

The Fourth Stooge

Posts: 580
Threads: 71
Joined: Oct 2015

01-03-2016, 07:00 PM

still think the 'original' in the post above is significantly better. some very good phrases that are no longer there:
1. notes of almost summer
2. shrinking shadow of her scent

the one change that is definitely for the better in this one is 'witnesses at an accident'

~ I think I just quoted myself - Achebe

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Messages In This Thread

Stealing Fruit (edit 2) - by Genuinebloke - 11-18-2015, 05:42 AM

RE: Stealing Fruit - by billy - 11-18-2015, 12:03 PM

RE: Stealing Fruit - by tectak - 11-19-2015, 10:27 PM

RE: Stealing Fruit - by Achebe - 11-20-2015, 11:49 AM

RE: Stealing Fruit - by Mark A Becker - 11-20-2015, 11:59 AM

RE: Stealing Fruit (edit 1) - by Genuinebloke - 11-22-2015, 07:53 AM

RE: Stealing Fruit (edit 1) - by Achebe - 11-23-2015, 02:13 PM

RE: Stealing Fruit (edit 2) - by Genuinebloke - 12-31-2015, 08:50 PM

RE: Stealing Fruit (edit 2) - by Achebe - 01-03-2016, 07:00 PM

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