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First post.
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01-03-2016, 10:26 AM
Your editted version seemed to flow better. But, for me, the first section doesn't seem to flow well with the last section. I would like to see a line or two about the observers desire for perfection, prior to his epiphany of his surroundings. I'm looking forward in reading your other poems. Thanks for posting.
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| Messages In This Thread |
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First post. - by Misanthrope - 08-20-2015, 02:32 AM
RE: First post. - by ellajam - 08-20-2015, 02:56 AM
RE: First post. - by Misanthrope - 08-20-2015, 04:15 AM
RE: First post. - by ellajam - 08-20-2015, 05:43 AM
RE: First post. - by Mark A Becker - 08-20-2015, 06:44 AM
RE: First post. - by Misanthrope - 08-20-2015, 04:57 PM
RE: First post. - by Mark A Becker - 08-20-2015, 10:35 PM
RE: First post. - by Misanthrope - 08-22-2015, 06:47 PM
RE: First post. - by mcauburn - 01-03-2016, 10:26 AM
RE: First post. - by REW - 01-03-2016, 12:34 PM
RE: First post. - by REW - 01-04-2016, 04:33 AM
RE: First post. - by milo - 01-04-2016, 04:40 AM
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