Taking Flight [Major Revision-New Title]

[rayheinrich]

... This is quite a new poem and I haven't written too much in the past couple of years, so it's great to be active in a poetry forum again. I intend on trying to salvage what I was attempting to express, but perhaps a MAJOR rewrite is in order. 

I knew before posting that this wasn't my best work, but it had things I really wanted to work on. For future reference, is this the type of poem that would be better off in a mild critique section, or is it still okay to post in serious as long as the goal is to obtain serious feedback? I'm still getting a feel for this website, although I did want to dive into this section because I was so afraid of the "Advanced" section of my last forum that I just never posted there.

I'll be taking another read through your commentary and have a crack at rewriting. Your feedback is much appreciated.
Thanks!
Emma

Where you post is largely up to you. But you should only post in 'Serious' if you believe in your poem
enough to warrant the time that the critiquers put into it, and are willing to take the time to go through
several edits. To me, its faults are outweighed by its potential. I think the strength of its narative
justifies it being placed here. Major rewrites, intentional or not, are frequently performed here.
All I ask is that you not abandon it. 'Serious' is seldom over in a day or two. You can always say
you're going to take our sterling crits , mull them over for a few days, and then come back with
an edit. (But it's poor form to not come back, or to whimp out saying: "Oh dear, I don't think it's ready".)

That said, it's your first time and you can do whatever you like and still be loved. (Especially since
you've evidenced such "vitality and interest" in the rest of this damned place.)

But hey, I'd say take a few days between each edit and go for it; have confidence, this thing's got legs.
Ray